I Don't Know What's Happening :: The Life of the Traegorn

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I Don't Know What's Happening
Posted Mar 7, 2011 - 8:55:10

Something happened. I don't know what it was, I don't know who was involved, I don't when it happened... but it did. As days go by it is more and more apparent that it did. What occurred, when it occurred and where it occurred are opaque to me, but all signs are pointing to something having happened.

I can see the ripples in the pond, dancing across the surface with malevolence, yet I do not know who threw the stone that broke the stillness. Did I do it myself, and it was so long ago that it's merely taken this long for the ripples to reach the shore? Was it someone else, tossing rocks without thinking of the consequences?

I don't know.

All I know is how I feel right now, and it's as if the stone that rocked the pond settled itself in my stomach. And when I say I honestly don't know what's going on, I mean it sincerely too. I am, if anything else at this moment, confused. I think the best way to explain it, it's as if someone walked up to you, slapped you across the face, and when asked why only replied "You know what you did."

Allow me to explain something: If I knew what I did, I probably wouldn't have done it.

Why on earth would I possibly do something on purpose to provoke this sort of thing?

But none of it matters apparently, so I'll just stand here a bit hurt and incredibly confused. In truth, if anyone would be willing to sit me down and explain to me what happened in private, I'd appreciate it.

Until that happens though, I'll continue in this state, not knowing what happened - where I really just would like to know. I think that I at least deserve that.

I guess in the meantime I will just continue to watch the ripples.
- Traegorn

This may seem weird, but this one of the most beautiful things I've read in a while.

Agreed. It really captures how we all feel sometimes. Not to belittle the immediateness of your personal situation of course. I hope things turn out for the best, and thank you for this.

Eh, if someone finds any value in my inane and vague ramblings I usually see it as a good thing regardless.